The Tongue Test

  

by Roy Lawrence

Which part of the human body do you think has the capacity to be most dangerous? Perhaps the fist, because it can knock another person senseless with a well directed punch? Or the foot, because it can put the boot into a victim who is on the ground after being attacked? Or the fingers, which can strangle the life out of someone? Or some other part?

If we were to ask St James this question he would not give any of these answers. He would pick a part of the body which seems smaller and weaker than any of them. His answer would be the tongue. ‘An untamed tongue,’ he says can be ‘a world of evil among the parts of the body’ (James 3:6) and ‘full of deadly poison’ (James 3:7). Even though we may consider ourselves serious churchgoers, St James says, ‘If anyone considers himself religious and does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless’ (James 1:26). An uncontrolled tongue, he says, can be as dangerous as a firebomb in the hands of an arsonist. ‘It sets the whole course of his life on fire and is itself set on fire by hell’ (James 3:6).

Do you think this is rather over the top? Do you prefer the view expressed by the children’s rhyme – ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me’? I used to quote it myself when I was at junior school if anyone called me names. However, even as I said the words, I think I knew they were not true. For words can be deeply hurtful both when we are children and, indeed, throughout the whole of life.

If I were to choose my own picture language to describe a malevolent and misdirected tongue, I might not speak – like St James – in terms of fire or poison. I think of the tongue as a sharp and deadly knife. For with the tongue we can stab another human being either through the heart or in the back.

My guess is that, if you think back, you will probably be able to remember an occasion when you have been really hurt by something somebody said to you. Perhaps it happened a long time ago and that person was one of your parents, or a teacher, or another pupil at your school. Perhaps more recently you can think of hurtful words spoken by a colleague at work or by a so-called friend.

Cut and thrust

There are many ways of verbal heart-stabbing. Some people seem to derive an unpleasant pleasure out of name-calling. ‘You skinny little runt,’ they say, or ‘you great fat slob,’ ‘you brainless idiot,’ ‘you’re a nobody,’ ‘you’re a waste of space,’ and so on. Also there is no shortage of cheap jeering jokes directed against insecure and vulnerable minorities, based perhaps on racist humour, or sexist humour, or mockery of the disabled – all straight out of the devil’s joke book.

Or, in complete contrast, there is dishonest flattery. We love it at the time, but we shouldn’t, because if someone builds us up falsely, life will inevitably knock us down afterwards. So flattery is a form of heart-stabbing.

Actually, you don’t have to tell a lie in order to be a heart-stabber. What about the person who speaks the truth, but does so malevolently? There is a prayer of self-examination and confession which I sometimes use and which I often commend if I am conducting a school of prayer. I came across it many years ago, but have never been able to discover its author. It contains the telling sentence: ‘Deliver me and keep me, O my Lord, from the dishonest honesty of frankness meant to hurt!’

If we turn from words that stab you in the heart to those who stab you in the back, we find that this is something which the Bible takes very seriously indeed. Verbal back-stabbing is specifically targeted by the ninth commandment which forbids us to tell lies about people behind their backs when it says, ‘Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour’. Other commandments are also relevant to it. When the sixth commandment says, ‘Thou shalt not kill’, this could well forbid character assassination too and the eighth commandment, ‘Thou shalt no steal’, certainly includes the theft of somebody else’s reputation.

It is so easy to stab others in the back. You don’t have to tell a lie or even a harmful half-truth. The back-stabbing can just be a bit of spicy gossip. Church circles are far from immune to it. We have our own phraseology when we do it: ‘There probably isn’t anything in it, but have you heard what people are saying?’ ‘There is a disturbing rumour I ought to share with you – just for your prayers, of course!’

Sometimes the tongue can serve not so much as a knife, but more as a ‘slime applicator’. There’s a lot of this around in society today. I used to be the Radio and T.V. Officer for my diocese and year after year I used to grieve over much of what I watched and heard. My guess is that with a very little thought you will be able to call to mind an occasion when you have felt ‘slimed’ after hearing what someone has said on the T.V. or watching a play or film in which wholesome values are belittled and those who believe in them are ridiculed.

However, none of these things have to be this way. Even St James – for all his misgivings about the ways in which we use our tongues – knows that it is possible to use them for God’s purpose too. He says that if you picture the tongue as a fountain, though the liquid that comes from it can be foul and poisonous, it can also flow with good, fresh, living water. It can be a source of blessing rather than cursing (James 3:10).

Passing the tongue test

So how about you and me? Do we pass the tongue test or fail it?

To find out the answer, review in your mind a selection of the things you have said in the last seven days. Then ask yourself – would Jesus have said them? Or, to put it another way, could you have said them to Jesus, or in the presence of Jesus? Alternatively, have you found yourself listening willingly to things that were incompatible with the presence of Jesus?

I wonder if you have heard of a remarkable woman called Hannah Moore. She lived 200 years ago and was a committed Christian noted for good deeds. She was a writer of some repute and an effective communicator of the Christian faith. Not only was she no gossip herself, but she was quite famous for refusing to listen to anyone else who was gossiping. If anyone tried to pass on gossip in her presence, she would nip the whole process in the bud by saying, ‘Come, we will go and see if this is true,’ and she would lead the red-faced gossip-monger straight to the person who was being talked about. It was not surprising that people learned to curb their tongues when they were in her presence.

Hannah would have passed the tongue test with flying colours. I hope you and I would do so too. What do you think?

Keep me, O Lord,

from the trivial, the interfering and the stupid;

from the infection of irritation and anger over nothings.

Deliver me and keep me, O my Lord,

from all promptings to decry the person or work of others; from scorn, sarcasm, petty spite and whisperings behind the back; from the dishonest honesty of frankness meant to hurt.

Deliver me and keep me, O my Lord,

from hasty judgments, biased judgments, cruel judgments, and all pleasure in them;

from resentment over disapproval or reproof, whether just or unjust.

Deliver me and keep me, O my Lord,

from all imposition of my own fads or idiosyncrasies upon others;

from self-justification, self-excusing and complacency,

Deliver me and keep me, O Lord. In your name I ask it. Amen.

Anon

This article first appeared in the UK Plain Truth of March/April 2003 and was used with permission.